Assalamualaikum and hi readers!!! Namaskar :))
The idea of writing this post comes from when I was so pleasantly reminded of the time I've spent in Belgaum, after watching Doctor G on Netflix. Unknowingly, after my graduation, I am always fond of watching Hindi movies. Because they remind me of the familiar environment I was in; how people communicate, the culture, the traffic, you name it, they're all too good to be forgotten. Mind you, I was not into Bollywood, before coming to India and for the major part of staying in it either. But I guess, the familiarity, the sense of having experienced the same thing, made Hindi movies and India felt like my second home. I mean, it really was, right? Haha
That was when a quote struck me right into my heart. I might've gain some, but I also lose some.
Do you get me when I say, the most brief thing that we have, is time? Because apparently nothing we do can change what has happened even a few seconds ago. The time I've spent in my primary school, isn't going to be repeated, and what I've experienced there, there's nothing parallel to it - no such thing as a parallel life okay? I can't fantasize what could've happened if my primary school is different right. And that's precisely what I cannot change; the time I've spent in Belgaum - and all the memories that comes with it.
My final teen years and my early 20s were spent mainly in a land where almost everything is different from where I was brought up. The language, the food, the culture, the preferences, the social norms. Embracing the differences did take some time. But a second home, for more than 5 years? That's just more than enough to take it all in, accept, celebrate and sometimes I unconsciously promote Belgaum/India to others, haha funny aite?
I could only recall living as a medical student with only one campus in the university compound, surrounded by Malaysians. The campus is just 3 minutes away from the hostel (especially if I needed to run for class). There's a stadium besides it, where I always look forward to their marching parade, every year, for India's Independence Day. And they're usually spectated from 5th floor - always on the day we have written exams. The hostel life though - is very well perceived (for me lah at least), though of course it has its own ups and downs. But the fun of it, is most likely because our friends' 'house' is just a few steps away from ours - and that's pretty much the 'bestest' part of living in a hostel. We have a very cool line of lecturers, both in Yellur and KLE Hospital. KLE Hospital is just a few minutes away, and conveniently distanced from the hostel. Going to Yellur is another case, where we're always on the bus (our own bus), or speeding with Auto's bhaiyas, or racing with our bikes. The maoshis, the meri bhetis, the briyanis, the naam kyas, the nehi maklums, the umr kitna heins, the kya problems. The what-are-you-doing-madams, the dont-you read-textbooks, the this-one-also-you-dont-knows, the when-is-your bus. Ahhh, I miss those!
And that's what makes me, me! I dare not change anything that has happened since afterall it was written by Our Best Author - The Almighty God.
But having said that, let me list out a few things that sometimes bug me, haha, just because I was curious of what-could've-been-if;
2. What if I was living in a rented house? How difficult could it be to search for a place to live in, what about the facilities, the bills, the housemates, the struggle of going to classes every day?
3. What if I've got myself into a local medical university? Would it be too stressful? Or would be a lil bit easier entering HOship since what we've been practicing is what we're going to do when working?
4. What if I didn't get into medical school? Would I be in teaching profession now? Or a nurse? Or someone in a uniform?
5. What if going home is a bi-monthly event and not an annual one? Could I've done better as a daughter, a sister, an aunt?
The phrase of- I could only recall - implifies that it's the only life I've been through from a teenager to a young adult. I cannot live a different life, or imagine being in a different life during the same period because it is what it is. We only live once, and we've gotta make sure it's the best life we're living in, insyaAllah.
Even when there's those moments where we're genuinely curious of what-could've-been-ifs, trust me, we're not getting anywhere with those thoughts. It's nothing wrong with having such questions, but getting carried away with the thoughts and trying to create an answer to it, could be damaging. And that is why certain things are beyond our incapable thinking. Some things are meant to - let 'em be. Let God and let them be.
I might've gain some - various contrasting incredible experiences while in Belgaum, but I certainly have to lose some along the way.
2. Less time with family, which always makes me feel sad for some reasons, but now that I have more time with them, I guess it's God's way to help me patch up those wounds.
3. Missing small & big events/moments with family, close friends. We all have that losing-friends-stage-of-life as we embark into another stage of life.
4. No opportunity to polish certain skills (driving skills, negotiation skills for house renting)
5. No experience clerking in local hospital settings, do all the common procedures because the system is in your favour (I mean in India, it's quite different- the things med students can do or allowed to do)
Undoubtedly, I couldn't re-live my teen and young adult years, but I am perfectly sure that I'll cherish all those unchangeable moments as they are. Belgaum really shaped me, grew me, grew on me (haha) and it will always be my second home. I do hope that I could go to the university one day, and look back to what have been a part of me, insyaAllah.
Alin :)
