What will be, will be

Assalamualaikum and hi dear readers!

It has been quite long since my last entry. When there's too many things in your head, you should write. And if there's nothing going on in your head, you should read. And now, I really am in need of writing. 

I haven't been able to tell yguys yet, but I bet most of you have already received the news from my other social media platforms. After about 10 months of being funemployed, I am finally going to begin my first working experience ever in more or less 2 weeks' time, insyaAllah. 

God knows how anxious I was upon receiving 'the' email one day prior the opening of HOship application. After several months of thinking, revising the best options, and contemplating my priorities, I was ready to enter the battle, with 10 hospital options in my hand. I have discussed mostly with N, F and my parents of course, and I can already imagined working side by side with N & F (how comforting the thought was, and is still :() . Unfortunately, things happened, and we weren't destined to be together huhu.

The system was anticipated to crash, ever since it was introduced, duh. Mind you, before this online application exists, they used to apply manually, using written forms and whatnot (based on Yana's story). Alhamdulillah, eventhough I wasn't sure whether to apply from home or from a CC, I followed His lead, alhamdulillah. And alhamdulillah, I managed to fill in the form and clicked on my only option when Negeri Sembilan was selected. I have been reminding myself over and over again, that Hosp B might not be in the list, since the placement is always <10. To my surprise, upon clicking Negeri Sembilan, Hosp A was not even there ahha. I was left with Hosp B at 5 vacancies left. I clicked as fast as I can, and another unexpected 'attack' popped up! Suddenly we have to prove that we're not robots? And without notice I lose my ability to read the captcha code. And as He always knows what's best for me, He sent Mama to help me read the code and I was able to type it without mistakes, cause you know what happens when the code's wrong, right?

And the green pop-up screen appears! 

In just about 20 seconds filled with anxiety masked with calmness, I was able to download 1 out of 4 documents, that are supposed to be downloaded upon getting your HO placement. And 'puff', the system crashed, like it always did. 😒

I'm gonna blame everything else except for myself, when I decided to close the stuck tab 😵 I was confused. Did I get myself a placement or did my mistake puts me back to square 1? Luckily, we're updating one another in Whatsapp group, and everyone else were facing the same problem. But that didn't put me at ease either huhu. Every minutes passed, and our logins were to no avail. 20 minutes passed, and I was already in the state of que sera, sera. If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. What will be, will be.

While waiting, I updated N about my situation. She had a similar case but wasn't able to reach the green pop up screen part huhu. After about 45 minutes of subsequent failures in logging in, the system finally was reachable. I was able to download all other 3 documents, and confirmed my doubt. I have got myself a placement in Hosp B with Syerah's help too, alhamdulillah. Strangely, I thought everyone was able to log into the system, after 45 minutes of trying. However, my other friend was only given access after 2 hours of trying allahu. Then, I realised it was His abundant blessings poured upon us again and again, alhamdulillah.

And now, I am constantly aware of 'the' date 😣. It's gonna be tough, but I am going to be okay insyaAllah amiin. If it could be of help, you too should try reading it out loud, the word of affirmations, before 'the' day. And again, que sera, sera. What will be, will be :))

Till God knows when I can write again😩

Pray for me yeah huhu. Assalamualaikum :)