Delusional December

Hi everyone! Asalamualaikum :D

Hehe, it's me again. Duh! Of course, it's me. I'm the only writer here (but with a few accounts lol)

I intended to write a post yesterday, just to celebrate my favourite month of any year haha. But, of course, I didn't manage to do so, and ended up writing on the very next day. Isn't that cool already? (self-proclaimed, as always)

My favourite month is here, but I don't have any expectation towards it. Because obviously, experience is our best teacher, don't you agree? It's just that I am a little aware of the start of December, because December reminds me of the end. The end of a year. Whether it's a good or a bad year, it's coming to an end. Whether or not I learnt anything throughout this 2020, it's coming to an end.

And to clearly state that 2020 is a ridiculous year, would be totally undeniable haha.
Anyways, if I had ever learnt anything in 2020, one of the most important lessons would be: know when to laugh. Period. (but pretty funny, ey?)

The above statement need no explanation. And even if some of you are curious about the meaning behind that statement, I 'm so sorry that I couldn't bring myself to tell you what it actually means.
Anyhow, that is one of my most important lessons of the year!

yay to 2020 !! woohoo

Onto the next section of the post (ecewah hehehe), I am going to share my thoughts and feelings I have towards this particular (blank). For 5 months, I was trying really hard to counter-attack my feelings, opinions just because I wanted to declare that all is well, and because I don't want to sound ungrateful with what I have currently. And suppressing 'em for 5 months, didn't do me good.

There's just so many biased decisions made, unheard and unattended queries, flowery and glittery sugar-coated words of advice, judgmental statements made, and the list goes on.
God knows how we were being treated, and I bet you wouldn't want to know how it was for us.

But this is when I actually realised that I am facing the real world. It's not because I'm being so pessimistic (and do know that I'm well-known to be an optimist) but because the cruel word is the reality. The ones you see on screen are just fairytales- like you all know (but sometimes need to be reminded of the fact).

This is also when I realised that no one actually cares for you -except your friends and family. Secondly, no one wants to go through difficult pathways for others' benefits, that's just absurd! Haha. No one wants to be of your interest, especially if it's business-related things. No one shows their true self to others, because by doing that, you're shrinking your circle of reach. Plus, only Allah knows all of our good and bad deeds. And finally, no one wants to be on your side, especially if they've nothing to gain/lose in the process - #harshtruthaboutreality

However, throughout this unthinkable period of 5 months, I've learnt that only Allah can provide you undivided love, enormous care even if He has nothing to gain/lose. Allah can provide you your best interest because even when you don't want to talk about it with anybody, He knew, He always knew. And guess what, even if He knows each and every sins/wrongdoings, He is still by your side, and He never leaves you, for whatever reason. And that just proves that we should not rely on one another or have any expectation of anyone but to have unadulterated faith towards Allah SWT.

No, I'm not trying to be religious here. God knows how unbelievably bad I am as His servant. But, I just wanted to emphasize that it is tiring to expect oneself to produce an outcome exactly like we want, and every seconds passed with resentment towards oneself, will just cost us our peace, stability. It's just not worth it! We have to live in the moment, enjoy what we have and need not be bothered by anything/anyone that's not worth our precious hearts and minds. Life's too short for that, huhu.

kerdil kan kita sebagai manusia ni?

For the last section of the post, I'd like to expose the real reason, of why I was hesitating to write about this in the first place. Frankly speaking, I was staying on one side, choosing not to be selfish and to take care of your feelings; my beloved and loyal readers. And I guess, I just wanted this whole sharing sessions with you guys can only sound positive, and by any means, avoid the negative ones. I wanted this blog or my writings to be somehow sugar-coating the harsh truth of reality. But after being through so much (compared to the previous 22 years of my drama-less life), maybe I just wanted a change. A good change, I hope. Because talking or sharing about reality is painful, but I believe it's going to be helpful/beneficial for myself and you too readers. Even if not for the time being, I'll be able to reread this post and be reminded of how strong I am and I was and I always will insyaAllah. Till then, buhbye <3

Hi?

Assalamualaikum and hi people!!!!

I don't know whether any post from this website has ever excites anyone, but I do hope this 'comeback' could add some colors into our daily ordinary life. Hehe. And I would like to use this opportunity to write about something certain, especially in this time of uncertainties. And believe me or not, most of us are doing it quite frequently since this pandemic, which is talking about our past :)

Alhamdulillah, for the peace of mind and stability of emotions I have for the time being, and to be able to write a post now, is definitely a big achievement for me. Though frankly speaking, I am still not sure of my chart of progress but I do know that I am in a very slow process called growth. And by that, no matter how tiny my improvement is for a day, I would love to wake up tomorrow just to be someone better than I was the day before. InsyaAllah.

Before I go on reminiscing about my 'certain phase' of life; the past, I'd like to make it clear that I am that kind of person who loves collecting, grouping and making sure that every picture or video related to my family or friends are in the 'Picture' folder in my laptop, and some of them are in my precious hard disk. 

As someone who loves being photographed (hehe) and definitely worshipped photography ;)) , I am very particular when it comes to naming the folders. To add to this personal fact about myself, even before the pandemic, I'd always spend time going through the pictures and videos from different phases of my life. I'd scroll and scroll to go to places I've been to, to remind myself of what helped me be who I am today, to visualize those happy and unhappy moments, to not forget the journey to reach this point of life, to be able to reconnect with my past so as to be more appreciative of the present. I'm not sure if these reasons make any sense to you, readers, but do know too, that I am such an 'amnesiac' when it comes to recalling my own past or memories. But to be able to pull myself together during hard times, using this simple method, is very calming and reassuring. Come what may, for I'll push through it, no matter what it takes, insyaAllah.

So, as I was saying, I was going through the folder named 'Med Year 4', and the subfolders are all related to when I started Semester 7 with Commed until now. It's quite a big folder compared to the previous 3 folders of the same name, but different number, as my Year 4 in medical school is still incomplete hehe. With that being stated, I'd like to share some of the happy moments I had, under the subfolder named 'random20' and 'posting'. 

As a quite self-centered writer (I knew I'm not a good one), I know that this entry might not be sth beneficial for some of you. And of course, you may leave this page knowing that very fact huhu. But before you go, know that these moments of uncertainty too shall be embraced like any other phase of life. No, I'm not saying that it's easy but it's not beyond what we can bear, insyaAllah. And most importantly, always be attentive to what we have at present, because even if it's unpleasant sometimes, we can never redo these moments ever again. Make full use of it, enjoy it, so that when we look back to the past, some time in the future, we can be proud of ourselves, and not feeling regretful. 

YOU are a very very strong soul, you do know that, right? (fist bump virtually)

With that, I shall now begin my 'subfolder' sharing :D

Fuh, ni bukti penting, setelah 'dibelasah' teruk.
Mujur kena belasah dgn zet, terus jadi bearable huhu,
alhamdulillah

Dr kesayangan syaz hehe.
Posting paling pendek, paling susah
tapi paling menarik juga, utk syaz. 
Untuk saya, no comment wkwkwk

Memang rezki awal tahun 4 semua posting byk kena gi kampus,
bergambar depan kampus mcm satu kewajipan pula haha

Ada juga kenangan posting Fammed, 
apa nama klinik ni eh haha lupo

Ni masa gi rehab centre kan?
Beraktiviti di bawah terik mentari uols

Power Dr kita.
Sentiasa mahu beri yang terbaik untuk komuniti,
thumbs up!!

Eh, sempat jadi puteri haha

Fammed best sbb Dr2 tak pernah
tak bersemangat, esp Dr Nilesh

Depan KMC, dgn Dr paling berdedikasi :)

Dgn Che Nur, yang taktahu nama penuh saya haha

Ni kat pusat rx Tb, HIV kan? 
(saya taktahu saya tanya sapa sebenarnya haha)

Somangek discuss takut kena belasah 

Ni tempat pasal food nak tahu ada
permissible colouring or whatnot

on a rare occasion, saya bangun awal,
untuk capture kecantikan ciptaan Tuhan,
dari tingkap 321

Pak rajin sobat

Masuk kedai buku, discuss apa ntah haha

Bunga-bunga kehidupan

Ni salah satu event yg takde kaitan dgn saya,
tapi dorg paksa pergi,
sorry penganjur, bukannya takmau pi,
tapi saya tak join sports apa pun haha.
Niat nak main pingpong Samudera ni,
sbb tak perlu ada harsh contact with opponents
in a single court,tup tup, pingpong cancel haha.
Saya lah org paling tak aktif dalam USMKLE :))

Muka bersinar pon xpe, ni perkenalkan
clerking partner paling dicintai,
taktahulah dia suka ke tak clerk dgn saya haha

Ada ostajah uols, dapat ke tak aura positif tu?

m2j kitaaa

Pergh puree yang dirinduii

Bee ajak dating, pahtu, order air lemon kot,
not knowing KFC only served lemon masala,
dio pom minum sambil tutup hidung,
macam makan obat uols

Ni rumah yg kita numbering masa CFCS!

On a rare occasion too, bila i join futsal haha.
I suka jadi GK sebab takkan terlanggar orang haha.
And everyone were so concerned about me berpeluh
 with my eczema, I sempat berkipas di tiang gol gais.
These are my sweet fwensss

Pergh pelik2 je tahun ni ya,
sempat ada gym membership lagi,
pastu join hiking ntah kat mana ahah

Oh, dah sampai tempoh pandemik, 
I bergambar bersama presenters mantul,
ENT was challenging gais,
AND IS STILL huwaaa

Bidadari singgah rumah alhamdulillah

Bfast dgn bidadari n fatimah comeii do'oh

Andd fatinah jadi puan!!!
Kitorg tak sempat tolong neves
sebab sampai pun lambat, sorry tinah.
Syukur dpt buli kinah kejap haha

Kelik kelate sokmo haha, pahtu gi dderak aduh

Tak pernah tolong celebrate, syukur boleh buat huhu

Ati je nak bergambar. 
Gi ganu best gais, sebab tempat lepak sure tepi pantai,
bunyi ombak deru angin tu masyaAllah.
Nak rumah tepi pantai Ganu lah huhu

Bye org Ganu, moga baik2 saja ya <3

Tepi pantai lagi alhamdulillah

Gambar ni unedited ya, sorry la lighting ahha,
but surely it deserves to be here :)

Saya yang suka cakap tanpa henti tu -_-

And that sums up this entry I guess? Knowing that I am not in this alone, and knowing that this is just a tiny bit of my God-knows-how-many-wonderful years I've got in this temporary life, I'll be good, insyaAllah. Till our next post? Assalamualaikum, dear readers! Have a good day, month and years ahead!!!!

Andalus 2020 - part 5

Assalamulaikum and hi readers!!!

How are you? I hope you are in the best of health and may the odds be ever in your favour.

So, I've decided to finally write the last part of my journey of Andalus 2020. The trip was in January but it took me 5 months to actually complete the storytelling huhu. Forgive me, dear me :)

Egypt wasn't part of the trip at first because Andalus 2020 was aimed to include these 3 countries only; Spain, Portugal and Morocco. While discussing about the trip, we realised that to stay within our budget, we had to buy a return flight ticket with ~12 hours transit time, thus on the way back to India, we had a short trip/visit to Egypt!!

E.G.Y.P.T. This country could have been my first vacation destination with my parents back in 2014. But we plan and He plans, and He is always the Best Planner. That trip was supposed to include Abah, Mama, Ati and me, but because of the country's crisis and my parents were quite worried about my SPM (Because we could've been stucked in the country or whatnot, but nothing bad happened to my family, alhamdulillah). I guess, the vacation was not part of my 'rizq' anyways. My biggest anticipation was to visit my sister's university; Cairo University, where she spent the whole 6 years studying Medicine. She was one of our biggest inspirations after all hehe. And though to this date, I am still not sure of His reasons, but I believe He knows what's best for us in any given time :)))

Since we have a very short amount of time to move from one place to another in Egypt, we've hired ourselves a tourguide. It was a good decision, though I'd not recommend the same tourguide for myself hehe. The visit was in fact a tough period for me as tons of unsettled matters were in my head; the lack of sleep, the unstoppable crave for rice and home-cooked meals, the unbearable unhealthy skin, the supreme heat of Egypt, the caution we have to take towards any possible pickpockets, the terrible mood and the list goes on.

P/s: I hope the next time I'm in Egypt, it's going to be a memorable one, amiin, insyaAllah

My #7 tip: A 12 hour transit isn't that long actually, taking into consideration the hours we need to spare for immigration process into/out of the airport. And considering the huge number of people in the airport, it was quite a bad idea being here hehe. But if you happen to have more than 15 hours transit time, you may/may not explore the transit destination, if it's worth it. That depends on you okay? But in my opinion, like any other trips, I'd feel more exhausted mentally, physically &emotionally towards the end of the trip and eventually the anticipated excitement wasn't really there huhu. Instead of enjoying the trip, all I did was staring into the space aimlessly lol. My bad :))

Places we visit: Great Pyramid of Giza, Al-Azhar University, Nile River, bazar Khan-el Khalili

kakak ni kan kalau tgok muka dia dari pertama kali kenal sampai sekarang

sma je, tak berubah pun, mmg awet muda ke sis?

unta

makanan kat sini padu, tapi takde mood nak makan haha,

makan satay pastu kenyang,

lebih2 tu kita pass kat orang lain lah,

makasih temen2

suasana majlis ilmu dalam masjid al azhar ni umpama bayangan

yang jadi realiti, subhanallah

kalau sesat satu hal pula haha

perempuan shopping pun strees, tak shopping pun stress haha,

yang pakai baju hitam nampak effort sikit la nak faham shopping style perempuan,

yang jacket merah dari awal sampai sudah pening haha

husna picit apa tu

nak senyum pun rupa macam takmau haha

gambar ni mcm gambar abah masa 2014 in cairo hehe

And that sums up pretty much everything I'm able and would like to share with you, readers, I hope it can benefit you in any possible ways. Looking forward to my next Allah-knows-when-trip if the condition, time and budget allocation permits hehe, insyaAllah. Till then :)