The Recap of My 2020

Well, hello people!!!

Hehe assalamualaikum to you. Before all else, let me tell you something. Actually, I do have all the time in the world, as I am currently on holiday (haha) and the small kids who love attention are not here at the moment. Though usually I have to think hard to come up with a content, this time around, the overflow of ideas is no joke. I do have a few topics to be shared with you, my beloved readers, but whether I am able to write and post about them is a totally different story hehe.

So, for this post I wanted to share about the recap of an awesome (read: quite awful) year of 2020. Let's join the hype! (I know I'm late, but who cares haha)

The intention of me sharing this post is just to remind myself that 2020 has happened. And alhamdulillah you and me are out of it alive and most likely still in one piece! I am not going to indoctrinate you by saying the opposite, because I believe that saying/writing something repeatedly, will soon make you believe that you should do/feel that 'something'. Thus, I am just going to say it out loud, that my post is gonna be interesting hehe. Do read it, be benefited from it and may it inspires you to write yours too 😉

And if you're new to this blog, if ever you are, I am a picture-oriented person. And to be fair to the topic of the post, I am going to go through my Picture folder and start with the ones taken in 1.1.2020 

Disclaimer: I only pay attention to grammar and writings of the post excluding the captions (I always do this). So, I apologize if the captions make you feel uncomfortable as it is going to be Manglish/ 'rojak'.

January

surprisingly, my 2020 started with a short trip to BLR,
with my beloved roomates alhamdulillah

ingat sume benda kena discuss haha

sedapnya sushiii

oh and sebenarnya nak sambut birthday
kakak manis sorang nii

naik lif zaman bila ntah, manual la yang pasti

sume orang sedikit blur and amazed,
jadi pakcik terpaksa tolong masuk lif & gerakkan ahah

📸 Nabihah

pastu makan lagi

ni samudra night, with Husna

ni legend, tq engku hehe

January story doesn't end here. Obviously, because the pandemic had not affected India yet.

went for hiking somewhere in Belgaum,
lol didn't even know the destination

learnt riding for countless time,
tapi tak berani juga haha

excuse ma face,
this was with kak syaza during cfcs.
cfcs pun tak dapat habiskan huhu

During those rare times I wished to play futsal
and actually went for it haha.

sempat join charity program 

Hahah this one.
Remember I told you once, that one of the weirdest things I did
during 2020 is getting a gym membership ahha.
And this was the whole gym members who went for hiking.

Dah penat hiking, pi cari makan la.
The scrumptious puree only in Ramdev.

To make it simpler, I grouped the Andalus trip in February hehe. Eventhough the trip started in Jan, it ended in February, so yeah.

February

The Andalus trip was one of the proofs that 2020 wasn't a total mess huhu. Alhamdulillah. Even if the majority of 2020 had me crying and a lil bit at loss, Allah surely rewarded me with sth I've never imagined to be able to experience, like ever. Alhamdulillah for this. And I apologise if the pictures are the ones I've shared before. Anyways, enjoyyy 

those happy faces

was able to witness the beauty of
this fairytale-like castle in Lisbon

pose acah-acah nasyid sikit 

macam Venice but in Seville

this was the sky that welcomed our arrival in Morocco

the colours of life

the mosque by the sea of Casablanca

and was able to attend the hectic classes and the ability to de-stress with food
without having to worry about viruses, alhamdulillah for the ni'mah

March

dapat visit kak biah lepas operation

dapat sambut hari kelahiran sahabat

dapat whatsapp dari bihah hahaah
sebab dia pinjam tudung lol

dapat cilpi lepas kelas or during breaks 

dapat attend majlis nina :))) 
virtually la hheheh

dapat attend OT was a blessing, 
walaupun selalunya blur dgn procedure operation huhu

dapat solat with these bunch,also a blessing.
abaikan la background tu.
klu background tu terlalu kemas, gambar ni mungkin takde haha

April

bulan ni ada gambar nanas yg sy potong cantik2 je haha.
maybe i was too occupied with things.

May

This month also was a huge blessing for me. Alhamdulillah, even at this point, I can say that I've never regretted my decision and I thank Allah for allowing me to make such a decision. Indeed, He gave me what I need most and not what I merely want.

the relief I felt was beyond any description

and the memory of the frontliners who were so hardworking and helpful,
insyaAllah I'll never forget and be thankful for

the stay was lonely but was nothing compared to
the struggle of the superheroes (read: frontliners)

woke up everyday to online classes, back to back hehe.
ENT gais hehe

Sambut raya alone was a thing hehe, 
Not complaining of course, it was more than what I could ask for

sempat sekelas dgn idola also is a blessing

dapat la bake roti sekali, hitam pun hitam lah

dapat kad raya besar punya dgn ucapan
paling ikhlas drpd maryam comeyy

dapat braid rambut anak kesayanganku

And wallahi, I never knew it could be this long. Shall I continue? Hell yeah ;)

June

dapat ziarah inche boss 

ada rezeki makan pulut durian

get to attend mr wong's retirement ceremony,
virtually of course

July

get to celebrate for the first time (I dah 23 tapi baru reti nak sambut),
anniversary mama dan abah

dapat depa dua ni jadi tetamu kehormat hehe

August

get to attend tinah's wedding ceremony!!
dan dapat jumpa kinahhh

the bride and groom are cutee

one with le bride

September

got to spend more time with fatimah and the siblings

cilpi lagi sama anak ini

get to attend faiz's wedding
(this surely needs another detailed post huhu)

iffah and ummi

ada rezeki ziarah yana kat ganu for a few times,
and the wonderful beaches are just captivating

dapat gi jupe budok due ni

And I get to consult dermatologist in HTJ, and alhamdulillah I think I am quite okay now. Not that itchy and not that red anymore (syukurrr).

October

an extreme sport this one.
korang prnah tak setup pool ni?
mak aii makcik boleh buat kalau rajin je

get to spend more and more time with these cuties

and receiving special random letters from yam

at ganu ft the most adorable couple

and the ultimate selfie of 3 anok bongsu

November

jadikan maryam model shawl

supo ummi dio

pastu cuba buat churros, that turned out like cekodok cair

Made origami as requested to avoid getting this comment :
'Ciklin, bosan lah, nak buat apa ni?'

saat umar bulat2 tiru kakak dia buat apa,
nak ikat rambut pun hmm

December

My favourite month!

selpie nge iffah comeyy

finished my first travelog book! bapak best,
I'm inspired to write one too!!!

precious selfie with eomma

wefie by the beach again hehe

And finally, we're at the end of this recap thingy, alhamdulillah. 🎉

Can you guys guess how much time I spent on writing this simple post? Initially, I didn't expect it to require such effort and time 🤯. I started writing at around 3 pm yesterday, and finishing it at 1.10 am the next day (with breaks for solat, eating and all). In other words, (for future me), if you try to focus on all the blessings and all the good things, you wouldn't believe how small those unpleasant things are. It's just that when you're too caught up with the bad things, you tend to forget all the nice thing that you may not have prayed for, but is actually meeting your exact needs. 

Thank you Allah for never giving up on me and thank you for always staying by my side. May 2021 be filled with us loving You more and more, insyaAllah 💖. Till then ;)

The Anticipative Year: 2021

Hi and assalamualaikum readers!

Glad that I am finally able to write sth after initially planning to do so before 2020 ended, and here we are now, 8 days into the anticipative year of 2021. Woohoo!! Here's to the spirit of a new and wonderful year ahead, amiin :))

Before I go to the main content of this post, let me share some of my thoughts first hehe. Anyhow, this is one of the reasons I still have this blog updated, right? 

I believe everything that we listen to, read about and talk about, or even to whom we're talking to daily, have a very huge influence on our silent thoughts, feelings and how we perceive the world at any point of time in this life. And that's most probably why the 15 years old me would not reacted the way I do when I am 24 years old huhu. It's nothing to be upset about because that proves that we've learnt from our past experiences and that we're still trying to be the best of us, every day, given the odd circumstances. 

Even so, it is one of the facts that I am seriously debating non-verbally (inside my head) over and over again currently. This just means that if I am too lenient with myself, it could get to the worse of me. Honestly speaking, it is eventually leading to me feeling empty, not satisfied with anything, pointlessly staring at the ceiling, feeling lazy to do almost anything (but no worries, I still want to live and be the best of me), but I just got carried away with all the hedonism huhu.

Thus, this reminds me to actually get back on track with Him. I can never feel satisfied with anything in this world when I didn't get His Attention or Love. I can never feel this empty, if I'd tried hard to be close to Him. I can never be too lazy to do anything if I am reminded of what's my purpose in this temporary life, huhu. But still, I find it quite hard to be back on track, honestly huhu. Do pray for me, will you ? I really am in need of your sincere prayers :)

Wow, that was certainly not part of the plan, but I wrote it anyway. And the clock is saying that that could be my main point in this post huhu. Hope to see you again soon :)) Till then 🙌

Delusional December

Hi everyone! Asalamualaikum :D

Hehe, it's me again. Duh! Of course, it's me. I'm the only writer here (but with a few accounts lol)

I intended to write a post yesterday, just to celebrate my favourite month of any year haha. But, of course, I didn't manage to do so, and ended up writing on the very next day. Isn't that cool already? (self-proclaimed, as always)

My favourite month is here, but I don't have any expectation towards it. Because obviously, experience is our best teacher, don't you agree? It's just that I am a little aware of the start of December, because December reminds me of the end. The end of a year. Whether it's a good or a bad year, it's coming to an end. Whether or not I learnt anything throughout this 2020, it's coming to an end.

And to clearly state that 2020 is a ridiculous year, would be totally undeniable haha.
Anyways, if I had ever learnt anything in 2020, one of the most important lessons would be: know when to laugh. Period. (but pretty funny, ey?)

The above statement need no explanation. And even if some of you are curious about the meaning behind that statement, I 'm so sorry that I couldn't bring myself to tell you what it actually means.
Anyhow, that is one of my most important lessons of the year!

yay to 2020 !! woohoo

Onto the next section of the post (ecewah hehehe), I am going to share my thoughts and feelings I have towards this particular (blank). For 5 months, I was trying really hard to counter-attack my feelings, opinions just because I wanted to declare that all is well, and because I don't want to sound ungrateful with what I have currently. And suppressing 'em for 5 months, didn't do me good.

There's just so many biased decisions made, unheard and unattended queries, flowery and glittery sugar-coated words of advice, judgmental statements made, and the list goes on.
God knows how we were being treated, and I bet you wouldn't want to know how it was for us.

But this is when I actually realised that I am facing the real world. It's not because I'm being so pessimistic (and do know that I'm well-known to be an optimist) but because the cruel word is the reality. The ones you see on screen are just fairytales- like you all know (but sometimes need to be reminded of the fact).

This is also when I realised that no one actually cares for you -except your friends and family. Secondly, no one wants to go through difficult pathways for others' benefits, that's just absurd! Haha. No one wants to be of your interest, especially if it's business-related things. No one shows their true self to others, because by doing that, you're shrinking your circle of reach. Plus, only Allah knows all of our good and bad deeds. And finally, no one wants to be on your side, especially if they've nothing to gain/lose in the process - #harshtruthaboutreality

However, throughout this unthinkable period of 5 months, I've learnt that only Allah can provide you undivided love, enormous care even if He has nothing to gain/lose. Allah can provide you your best interest because even when you don't want to talk about it with anybody, He knew, He always knew. And guess what, even if He knows each and every sins/wrongdoings, He is still by your side, and He never leaves you, for whatever reason. And that just proves that we should not rely on one another or have any expectation of anyone but to have unadulterated faith towards Allah SWT.

No, I'm not trying to be religious here. God knows how unbelievably bad I am as His servant. But, I just wanted to emphasize that it is tiring to expect oneself to produce an outcome exactly like we want, and every seconds passed with resentment towards oneself, will just cost us our peace, stability. It's just not worth it! We have to live in the moment, enjoy what we have and need not be bothered by anything/anyone that's not worth our precious hearts and minds. Life's too short for that, huhu.

kerdil kan kita sebagai manusia ni?

For the last section of the post, I'd like to expose the real reason, of why I was hesitating to write about this in the first place. Frankly speaking, I was staying on one side, choosing not to be selfish and to take care of your feelings; my beloved and loyal readers. And I guess, I just wanted this whole sharing sessions with you guys can only sound positive, and by any means, avoid the negative ones. I wanted this blog or my writings to be somehow sugar-coating the harsh truth of reality. But after being through so much (compared to the previous 22 years of my drama-less life), maybe I just wanted a change. A good change, I hope. Because talking or sharing about reality is painful, but I believe it's going to be helpful/beneficial for myself and you too readers. Even if not for the time being, I'll be able to reread this post and be reminded of how strong I am and I was and I always will insyaAllah. Till then, buhbye <3

Hi?

Assalamualaikum and hi people!!!!

I don't know whether any post from this website has ever excites anyone, but I do hope this 'comeback' could add some colors into our daily ordinary life. Hehe. And I would like to use this opportunity to write about something certain, especially in this time of uncertainties. And believe me or not, most of us are doing it quite frequently since this pandemic, which is talking about our past :)

Alhamdulillah, for the peace of mind and stability of emotions I have for the time being, and to be able to write a post now, is definitely a big achievement for me. Though frankly speaking, I am still not sure of my chart of progress but I do know that I am in a very slow process called growth. And by that, no matter how tiny my improvement is for a day, I would love to wake up tomorrow just to be someone better than I was the day before. InsyaAllah.

Before I go on reminiscing about my 'certain phase' of life; the past, I'd like to make it clear that I am that kind of person who loves collecting, grouping and making sure that every picture or video related to my family or friends are in the 'Picture' folder in my laptop, and some of them are in my precious hard disk. 

As someone who loves being photographed (hehe) and definitely worshipped photography ;)) , I am very particular when it comes to naming the folders. To add to this personal fact about myself, even before the pandemic, I'd always spend time going through the pictures and videos from different phases of my life. I'd scroll and scroll to go to places I've been to, to remind myself of what helped me be who I am today, to visualize those happy and unhappy moments, to not forget the journey to reach this point of life, to be able to reconnect with my past so as to be more appreciative of the present. I'm not sure if these reasons make any sense to you, readers, but do know too, that I am such an 'amnesiac' when it comes to recalling my own past or memories. But to be able to pull myself together during hard times, using this simple method, is very calming and reassuring. Come what may, for I'll push through it, no matter what it takes, insyaAllah.

So, as I was saying, I was going through the folder named 'Med Year 4', and the subfolders are all related to when I started Semester 7 with Commed until now. It's quite a big folder compared to the previous 3 folders of the same name, but different number, as my Year 4 in medical school is still incomplete hehe. With that being stated, I'd like to share some of the happy moments I had, under the subfolder named 'random20' and 'posting'. 

As a quite self-centered writer (I knew I'm not a good one), I know that this entry might not be sth beneficial for some of you. And of course, you may leave this page knowing that very fact huhu. But before you go, know that these moments of uncertainty too shall be embraced like any other phase of life. No, I'm not saying that it's easy but it's not beyond what we can bear, insyaAllah. And most importantly, always be attentive to what we have at present, because even if it's unpleasant sometimes, we can never redo these moments ever again. Make full use of it, enjoy it, so that when we look back to the past, some time in the future, we can be proud of ourselves, and not feeling regretful. 

YOU are a very very strong soul, you do know that, right? (fist bump virtually)

With that, I shall now begin my 'subfolder' sharing :D

Fuh, ni bukti penting, setelah 'dibelasah' teruk.
Mujur kena belasah dgn zet, terus jadi bearable huhu,
alhamdulillah

Dr kesayangan syaz hehe.
Posting paling pendek, paling susah
tapi paling menarik juga, utk syaz. 
Untuk saya, no comment wkwkwk

Memang rezki awal tahun 4 semua posting byk kena gi kampus,
bergambar depan kampus mcm satu kewajipan pula haha

Ada juga kenangan posting Fammed, 
apa nama klinik ni eh haha lupo

Ni masa gi rehab centre kan?
Beraktiviti di bawah terik mentari uols

Power Dr kita.
Sentiasa mahu beri yang terbaik untuk komuniti,
thumbs up!!

Eh, sempat jadi puteri haha

Fammed best sbb Dr2 tak pernah
tak bersemangat, esp Dr Nilesh

Depan KMC, dgn Dr paling berdedikasi :)

Dgn Che Nur, yang taktahu nama penuh saya haha

Ni kat pusat rx Tb, HIV kan? 
(saya taktahu saya tanya sapa sebenarnya haha)

Somangek discuss takut kena belasah 

Ni tempat pasal food nak tahu ada
permissible colouring or whatnot

on a rare occasion, saya bangun awal,
untuk capture kecantikan ciptaan Tuhan,
dari tingkap 321

Pak rajin sobat

Masuk kedai buku, discuss apa ntah haha

Bunga-bunga kehidupan

Ni salah satu event yg takde kaitan dgn saya,
tapi dorg paksa pergi,
sorry penganjur, bukannya takmau pi,
tapi saya tak join sports apa pun haha.
Niat nak main pingpong Samudera ni,
sbb tak perlu ada harsh contact with opponents
in a single court,tup tup, pingpong cancel haha.
Saya lah org paling tak aktif dalam USMKLE :))

Muka bersinar pon xpe, ni perkenalkan
clerking partner paling dicintai,
taktahulah dia suka ke tak clerk dgn saya haha

Ada ostajah uols, dapat ke tak aura positif tu?

m2j kitaaa

Pergh puree yang dirinduii

Bee ajak dating, pahtu, order air lemon kot,
not knowing KFC only served lemon masala,
dio pom minum sambil tutup hidung,
macam makan obat uols

Ni rumah yg kita numbering masa CFCS!

On a rare occasion too, bila i join futsal haha.
I suka jadi GK sebab takkan terlanggar orang haha.
And everyone were so concerned about me berpeluh
 with my eczema, I sempat berkipas di tiang gol gais.
These are my sweet fwensss

Pergh pelik2 je tahun ni ya,
sempat ada gym membership lagi,
pastu join hiking ntah kat mana ahah

Oh, dah sampai tempoh pandemik, 
I bergambar bersama presenters mantul,
ENT was challenging gais,
AND IS STILL huwaaa

Bidadari singgah rumah alhamdulillah

Bfast dgn bidadari n fatimah comeii do'oh

Andd fatinah jadi puan!!!
Kitorg tak sempat tolong neves
sebab sampai pun lambat, sorry tinah.
Syukur dpt buli kinah kejap haha

Kelik kelate sokmo haha, pahtu gi dderak aduh

Tak pernah tolong celebrate, syukur boleh buat huhu

Ati je nak bergambar. 
Gi ganu best gais, sebab tempat lepak sure tepi pantai,
bunyi ombak deru angin tu masyaAllah.
Nak rumah tepi pantai Ganu lah huhu

Bye org Ganu, moga baik2 saja ya <3

Tepi pantai lagi alhamdulillah

Gambar ni unedited ya, sorry la lighting ahha,
but surely it deserves to be here :)

Saya yang suka cakap tanpa henti tu -_-

And that sums up this entry I guess? Knowing that I am not in this alone, and knowing that this is just a tiny bit of my God-knows-how-many-wonderful years I've got in this temporary life, I'll be good, insyaAllah. Till our next post? Assalamualaikum, dear readers! Have a good day, month and years ahead!!!!